Retirement=small daily goals

Retirement is weird. All your life you wish you could stop working when the going got tough. When for the umpteenth time you sat through the umpteenth meeting, and heard the same speech but through someone else’s mouth. When you have to (in my case) remember that it is the first time “for them” but the 35th year for you. When your body says, “it’s been swell, but enough already”. When your head says “I’m not being challenged enough anymore, I need to break out into something new”. Then you retire. You have all the time in the world, while not necessarily all the money or support in the world (which is how your fantasy retirement was figured out in your imagination). The first thing that happened in my case is I just wanted to sit down. I stood for 35 years. I just wanted to read something not related to my job. I was always reading journals, newspapers, and books about my profession. I just wanted to take time and “smell the roses”. I was always running running running. It’s been a year. I try to take stock of doing at least one thing a day. Sounds minimal and it is. But if I can do the laundry, or take the car for an oil change, or pay bills, I remind myself that I used to do all of that in ONE day (usually a Saturday) before the treadmill of life started on Monday. I manage to do more than one thing a day naturally, I am an A personality after all. I do need to break down and do the one thing I HATE to do a day too. (Haven’t done much of that, I must admit). I need to realize that I will be passing on within the next 10 years, and someone (ME) needs to go through all of the stuff and start weeding out. I started briefly (another blog entry) by selling stuff on eBay. I stopped because it started to become a JOB (which if I wanted a JOB, I would actually have stayed doing what I was doing, because I was good at it, and enjoyed it). I need to actually CLEAN. Not the surface cleaning we do for company or the holidays, but the moving the boxes, and woah, look into them and under them kinda cleaning. I can’t bring myself to do that quite yet. But know I will have to. I look around and see my life in all kinds of objects from the floor loom in the livingroom, to the piles of clothing in the bedroom, to the bookshelves crowded with all kinds of titles. It’s time. I just have to remember not to get overwhelmed and just take it one day at a time.

Here I am…it a pair of pants I made last week to go with a “Husk” that my favorite fiber artist Helen of Secret Lentil made. Perhaps I should start by cleaning the mirror.


2 Responses to “Retirement=small daily goals”

  1. Larry Russo Says:

    HELLOOO !!!!

    I miss your laugh!!! Hope you are well – I have finally got my act together and put my self BACK into school …. going for my AFA ( to start again ) at Brookdale CC in Lincroft. The computer stuff has dried up for me…. I even worked at APPLE and it was terrible.

    I really enjoy your posts ! And I do miss your contagious laughter !

    – love ya

  2. rtlvr Says:

    I’m great! I have been following you too! Sometimes working for our “dream” company is not all that our fantasy made it out to be. Ask people who work for Disney.

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